When Love and Kindness Leave Lessons and Legacies

By Wendy Pierman Mitzel ~~~~   One afternoon, probably seven years ago, my neighbor saved the day with a glass of wine and a few moments of peace. I remember the day as a bit nuttier than usual. The four kids, 10 and under, were in the yard on scooters, bikes, swings and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was likely yelling or whining at said children and I’m pretty sure now that my neighbors, Frankie and Bill, were witness to it all. They were a beautiful pair. Elegant and classy at more than 80-years-old, the couple exuded confidence, grace and class. Frankie wore lovely earrings. Bill always dressed the role of a dapper gentlemen. That afternoon, sunny and warm, they strolled out of their house as if nothing was amiss and invited me for a glass of wine and some cheese on the back patio, beautiful bluestone with rock walls and blooming rhododendron.

Fairly new to New England at that time, I assumed 4 o’clock wine was some sort of classy East Coast tradition. And while I learned that it was not out-of-the-ordinary for the pair to enjoy a glass and a toast together, I’m convinced that on that day they spotted a woman at her wits’ end and said to each other: “Oh Dear, grab the wine, I’ll get the glasses and let’s just see what we can do.” They were too kind and gracious to say they were preserving my sanity. Instead they insisted, in that way you can’t deny, that I leave the children to play for a bit and take a moment to relax.

There were more moments with Frankie and Bill in the short time I lived next door to them. Most of them spontaneous like dropping in for coffee and conversation and many of them quick waves between their kitchen window and me rushing down the steps on my way to here or there. When I heard Frankie was sick, I selfishly raced over and claimed a few minutes of her time. I needed to tell her, I said, how much I admired her and Bill’s relationship. He called her his “beautiful bride” and it was genuine. She adored him and it wasn’t forced. They treated each other with dignity. They were the inspiration for a short story I had begun to write, I told her. I was so taken by their love and more than that, their actions with each other. “How is it that you are both so…” I couldn’t find the words. “Peaceful?” she suggested and I supposed that was it. She was not much to talk about herself but noted that she and Bill learned to appreciated each other in their true character. The words that come to mind now are humane and kind.

Frankie passed away this week at 93-years-old. Bill,in his wheelchair, sat with the large family he created and they hosted a church full of townspeople who wanted to honor the memory of Frankie as best they could. He was certainly proud of his brood but oh, so, proud of what everyone said about his bride. I wonder, if it hit everyone so hard because not only had we lost Frankie, but we lost the entity that was Bill and Frankie. Over and over throughout the funeral and after during the reception, people spoke of the bond between the two and how it manifested in their actions toward each other and the people around them. The were inclusive, giving, adventurous, eager and genuine. They were dignity, class, elegance, kind, humane. They were a lesson in love. They were a lesson in life.