by Wendy Pierman Mitzel
I am a girl with many projects.
Love to start them. Not so good at finishing them.
The beginnings of many novels, short stories and essays germinate on my computer or in the many notebooks scattered about my house.
Baskets with price tags still attached wait to be filled and organized.
The new ceiling fans sit boxed at the ready next to the shelves waiting for hammer and nail.
And inside my head? In there is even worse! I am well aware the state of my physical affairs is a manifestation of my congested cerebrum.
Popping around in there are kernels of ideas. Such as starting a creative center for autism, a place where high functioning kids can go hang out. Then there are the characters from all my novels and short stories. They pace around in that waiting room, muttering and begging for me to pay attention to them. Laying dead center is the long list of boring matters like making doctor appointments and searching for summer camps.
I’ve recently begun to wonder what keeps me from moving forward. A lot of it is just daily life and distractions getting in the way. I spend a lot of time running out for milk and eggs and running children to and from their intended destinations.
A gentle reminder, and sale item from Marshall’s, is a sign in my office I love. It explains everything about my state of being: “The Journey is the Reward.”
I am a stop and smell the roses garden explorer. A wander about the maze walker. I’m like a toddler on an autumn nature stroll, stopping to pick up every pretty colored flower. My family nickname is “cheetah” solely for the irony.
But as usual, I digress.
There are reasons many of us put off lofty dreams or desires and projects that involve power tools. Or throwing away what is done, what we don’t need and moving on.
According to anti-clutter specialists, some of us hold onto stuff based on emotion. Have a despised crystal vase but won’t recycle or give away? Yes, it was a wedding gift but I’ve since divorced and haven’t spoken to the giver in over a decade. Why do I hold on to it? Feel guilty about the environment so you never throw anything out but instead intend to repurpose it? Those specialists explain that throwing or giving away items does not negate the memory or intention of an item. It simply opens up space for the future…or maybe I’m just a hoarder in the making.
Others resist tackling a goal based on the fear of failure. Or fear of success. What if you accomplish your dream but it fails to live up to expectations. Better not to find out, some of us decide. (Read Paul Coelho’s “The Alchemist” if this is you.)
A certain segment (the overthinkers) don’t know where to start on a project. What to tackle first? Where do I begin? In this case, it’s good to call in a friend to give you a push to start the momentum. In this case, it’s all about propulsion. Working with a friend or hiring an organizer can make a huge difference. When we need our plumbing fixed, we call an expert, why not do that in other parts of our life?
For me, it could be about not wanting the party to end. I love starting a project or creatively brainstorming an idea, and even working on a project, but crossing the finish line is difficult for me. I’m pretty sure if I ran a marathon I would peel off at mile twenty just to avoid the end of the race. I can get to 90 percent, but on the last ten, I linger.
It’s most likely in my DNA. My mother says I rarely threw a fit about anything, except when it came to the end of a playdate or sleepover.
I’ve also uncovered a psychological hiccup. Especially when it comes to home projects like the remodeling I’m focused on now. My son pointed out the other day that I never finish one item before moving onto the next. Maybe it comes down to something so simple as this: In the past, when I’ve gotten into the groove on a new job or finished a home project and finally got things just right, things changed, we moved, I started over. It seemed like it would all just come undone. So I learned to embrace the new start, but also fear the end of the road.
It’s a conundrum for sure. So many things to do, which to do first? Or maybe there is something else out there I can add to the list?
Compare it to a dog on a bright spring day…the scents are too tempting to ignore. I wander off down the road and keep within range my human’s voice calling me back. I want to keep my possibilities open but know I have to go back sometime. And like that dog on a spring day, I’ll eventually return, with a few new ideas, an armful of pillows on sale from HomeGoods and a fresh attitude on tackling that old project.
This was first published on R&R on 2/27/2013
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