Wet dogs, blue rats and TAB

By Cami Beiter 

You have to see (and maybe smell) it to believe it.  A pungent, expired retail facility that’s been transformed into the dog food mecca and soda establishment of Hampden County Massachusetts. 

Our aging Black Lab, Tuff, has some newly discovered food allergies and is now on a special diet. Intrigued by the pet store/soda shop combination, I headed out to locate his new kibble prescription.

I walked into Dave’s Soda & Pet City in Agawam not knowing what to expect.  I’d heard stories, but nothing prepared me for the real life experience.

Once inside the I grabbed a rusty cart with a shaky and bumpy wheel. A wad of aged gum embedded on one wheel caused an annoying, thump…thump…thump… with each rotation and it followed me around like a persistent mosquito on a summer afternoon.

I looked around, feeling like a fish out of water. I focused on the neon decals on black walls and then scanned the vast aisles of pooch supplies.  The rear of the store was a large open area… bringing to mind an 80‘s roller rink or video arcade. Interrupting the Blue Oyster Colt instrumental, the loud speaker called for an employee to empty the overflowing redemption area.

After scanning the products I turned my attention to the clientele.

People-watching in such an establishment always provides a free form of entertainment.       At the self-serve dog wash, patrons loudly complained of the lack of hot water; as if the elevated levels of voice would help the situation.   An unattended child sat in an aisle prying open bags of mini dog chews.  A dog-owner allowed his four-legged friend to relieve himself on the corner of a display case.  No effort was made to clean it up.  Others witnessed, but went about their shopping.  Lovely.  Yet, my afternoon pinnacled to wondrous heights when a hefty young lady, wearing camouflage and visible facial hair, interrupted a cashier.

“Can I take a look at one of them blue rats?”

Blue rats?  What the hell is a blue rat?  Her husband, equal in size and choice of fashion, submissively followed her around.  I gazed at his shopping cart of tiny dog outfits (Superman), an oversized bag of dry cat food and a case of TAB soda.  Go figure….I didn’t know Coca-Cola still made TAB.  I didn’t think you could even find that in Canada!

Speaking of soda, what’s the idea behind the combination of rodents, dog food, Beta fish and aisles of… soda pop? How does one just throw that last one in there? Especially of note is the variety of soda available. Not only are there the every popular brands but funky flavor variations in dusty bottles that look like they aren’t necessarily flying off the shelves.

But nobody here seemed to think anything of tossing in a few cases of cola with their plastic baggies of replacement goldfish and cat litter.

Here at Dave’s it was the Heinz 57 of human behavior.  All ingredients were wedged in the bun.  Thumping carts, dogs relieving themselves, kids ripping open canine treats, ladies with facial hair yearning for blue rats, neon shapes from afar and TAB soda.

And although the patrons were colorful and unpredictable, the selection of specialized dog food was impressive.  Sure, I could have gone to the clean isles and inflated prices of Pet Smart, but the whirlpool of material would have been lacking.

Buying from Dave’s Soda & Pet City provided an educated choice, reasonable prices, no sales tax and an afternoon of merriment. Maybe next time I’ll grab a bottle of banana-bubble-gum-fizz with my Milkbones.